Sunday, June 19, 2011

Dad Says...... Happy Father's Day

~Don't ask me, ask your mother.
~Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
~You didn't beat me. I let you win.
~Big boys don't cry.
~Don't worry. It's only blood.
~Don't you know any normal boys?
~I'll play catch after I read the paper.
~Coffee will stunt your growth.
~A little dirt never hurt anyone--just wipe it off..
~Get your elbows off the table.
~I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
~Who said life was supposed to be fair?

The fair's in October.
~Always say please and thank you. 
That way, you get more.
~If you forget,
you'll be grounded till the end of the world.
~You call that a haircut?
~"Hey" is for horses.
~This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
~Turn off those lights.
Do you think I am made of money?
~You call that noise "music"?
~We're not lost.
I'm just not sure where we are.
~No, we're not there yet.
~Shake it off. It's only pain.
~When I was your age ,
I treated MY father with respect.
~As long as you live under my roof,
you'll live by my rules.
~I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.
~Do what I say, not what I do.
~Sit up straight, knucklehead!
~What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.

~If I've told you once,
I've told you a thousand times
~You want something to do?
I'll give you something to do.
~You should visit more often.
Your mother worries.
~This is your last warning.
~I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
~What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
~I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!
~A little pain never hurt anybody.
~I knew how to cook
when I was your age, young lady!
~Laugh at yourself first,
you'll take the bite out of others doing so for you.
~You're always a winner if you lose with a smile.
~Go tell your mother she wants you.
~Any fights, I win!
~That's the best way I know to put out an eye!
~You could drive a wooden man nuts!
~Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!
~Don't forget to check your oil.
~You can want in one hand and spit in the other
and see which one fills up first.
~If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?
~If I didn't love you so much I wouldn't punish you...
I would let you do whatever you wanted.
~Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry.
~You have things so easy!
~When I was your age
I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow
up hill both ways!
~You're only young once.
~You're gonna like it, whether you like it or not!
~The early bird gets the worm. Rise and shine!
~Life is a journey
and you've just reached
one of many speed bumps to come.
~Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
~How many times
do I have to pound that into your head?
~If you want to do something,
do it because you want to.
Don't do it because someone else did.
~As long as you tried your hardest,
that's all that matters.
~What do you think this is, your birthday?
~Don't believe anything you hear
and only half of what you see.
~What do you think I am, a bank?
~What part of NO don't you understand?
~I don't care what other people are doing!
I'm not everybody elses father!
~You're not leaving my house dressed like that!
What will other parents think?
~Headache remedy:
Put your head through the window
and the pain will be gone.

~I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.
~If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.
~Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!
~You can marry a rich guy just as easily
as you can a poor guy.
~If you're going to steal a car,
at least make it a Cadillac
(but don't call me asking for bail.)
~Don't tell on anybody
unless you tell on yourself first.

~I'm not watching television. I'm resting my eyes.                                                                         ~Don't use that tone with me!
~Am I talking to a brick wall?
~If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
~Wipe your feet!
~Enough is enough!
~Don't make me stop the car!
~What did I just get finished telling you?
~You know you're always
gonna to be Daddy's little girl...

~Author Unknown


Holly said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I love this!

Koupon Krazed said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I love it! I think I have actually heard all of these before LOL! I am your latest GFC follower from Pitch It To Me.

polly said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

oh my gosh does this bring back memories! thanks for making me smile!

Carolyn Colley said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I've heard a lot of these from my dad when I was growing up and I've said several of them myself to my kids, they are great.

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